Saying No To The Fun Stuff

Cred: Elizabeth Gilbert

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Elizabeth Gilbert once shared a conversation with an informal mentor about why she couldn’t find time to write. Her mentor started asking questions. What tv shows was she watching? What magazines was she reading? Where was she vacationing this summer?

As Liz answered the questions and began to tell her about the fun vacation she and her friends had planned on the Jersey Shore, her mentor stopped her cold: she wasn’t going on that vacation. Her friends were going and they were going to have a good time. But she was staying home to work on her book — or her mentor was done listening to her complain about not being able to write.

You see, Liz Gilbert assumed the problem was saying no to obligations she didn’t want. But her mentor corrected her. The real sacrifice is saying no to the things you’d love to do.

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I’ve recently been in the midst of making plans with a friend to co-host a retreat in November. Something I was genuinely psyched about. Cool location, cool collaboration, and I love hosting retreats.

But retreats aren’t my primary focus right now and I’m already running one in January which will require my time and energy in the fall.

So I have to bow out of this opportunity, even though I really want to do it.

Liz’s story is a good reminder: doing the work you want to do often means saying no to the smaller stuff…even if it’s fun shit!

Collaborating on this retreat would be in what Gay Hendricks would call my zone of excellence, but not in my zone of genius. It’s work I can do well, but it’s also the kind of work that keeps me from stretching and doing my best.

These days, I’m trying more and more to do the work that sits squarely in my zone of genius and not just continuing to do what I know I can do well.

So my question for you this week is: What's the work you're good at that's keeping you from the work that only you can do?