I Can't, We Can
How to Deal With The Crazy World We're Living In
I don’t have to tell you which way I lean politically to say that the current state of things is ugly. Wars on several fronts. Political division in the US unlike anything since the Civil Rights Movement. The cost of living hitting our wallets. The looming threat/promise of AI.
Any of these things could create a sense of stress strong enough to throw us off our game. But collectively, all of these things create a sense of stress, fear, anxiety, and unease that make it incredibly hard to focus on our work.
I was having lunch with a client today who reminded me of the adage from the recovery tradition: “I can’t, we can.”
In the 12-step world, this points to the idea that I can’t sober on my own, but with the help of others, I have a chance. And I think this spiritual principle holds true here as well. I can’t deal with all the shit going on in the world, but with my people, I can get by.
I see this same principle at play inside the organizations I work with. Leaders who haven’t learned how to delegate yet, or are scared to let go of control will eventually find that they can’t do it all by themselves. If the company is growing, they have to become part of a larger team. I can’t, we can.
Once we start to realize the force multiplier that is the team, we can accomplish so much more than we ever even thought possible. But it requires something new of us. It requires a letting go or surrender of sorts. Collaboration is vulnerable work. Trusting that others will do the job with as much care and love as you did it takes time and the right partners.
Relying on each other can feel scary at first. What if you don’t hold up your end of the bargain? What if I’m not capable of holding up my end of the bargain? What then?
Taking a chance, giving someone the benefit of the doubt, assuming positive intent…these are the scary moves we have to make in order to begin the process of building a bond with others. The kind of bond that you can rely on to quit drinking, to work through challenging times at work, or to find comfort and companionship in the midst of a chaotic and scary world.
The bond of a team (or a group) isn’t just a nice to have, it’s a necessity. The bond is the strategy. So my question to you is: What are you doing to nurture that bond?
If this resonated, here’s how to go deeper:
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